Mater Familias

This article ran a couple of weeks ago.

Albanian Custom Fades: Woman as Family Man

I find everything about it interesting. A woman cannot head a household, but it's acceptable to change her gender and live her life as a man, and head a household. It is an interesting view of gender perception. While I'm glad that greater equality is coming to Albanian women, it's also a little bit sad that such an interesting cultural tradition (respected by both Christians and Muslims alike) is going to fade away within the next twenty years or so.

I don't know what else to say... any thoughts from the peanut gallery?

In Which I Am Perturbed

The latest thing in the abstinence-only movement:

Dancing the Night Away, With a Higher Purpose

Father-daughter "purity balls." Contents include praying, a ceremony involving white roses, and tactics that have been shown to have only limited effectiveness at actually protecting teenagers.

Aside from everything they mention in the article -- that abstinence pledges are ineffective against STDs because the kids are less likely to use condoms, etc. -- something remained unmentioned, only vaguely hinted at here:

For the Wilsons and the growing number of people who have come to their balls, premarital sex is seen as inevitably destructive, especially to girls, who they say suffer more because they are more emotional than boys. Fathers, they say, play a crucial role in helping them stay pure [emphasis mine].

Hm. Sounds like these girls are suffering from hysteria, or one of the other feminine complaints, perhaps. Haven't we moved past this nonsense yet?

Also disturbing: "Stephen Clark, 64, came to the ball for the first time with Ashley Avery, 17, who is “promised” to his son, Zane, 16." She's promised to him? At 17? Seriously? I can barely believe this is done in our country, never mind with kids so young. More than anything else in the article, that really threw me for a loop.

The other thing that bothers me about all this is the conspicuous absence of two other important groups: mothers and sons. Where are the boys who need to learn to respect women from a positive female role model? Where are the mothers to encourage all of their children to make good choices? Why can't the fathers be role models for the boys too? It's just so infuriating that the onus is all on the daughters and the responsibility is all given to the fathers. As though sons had no responsibility for daughters' "purity", as though mothers had no role in teaching their children how to live their lives.

I should really stick to posting about animal behavior. Human behavior can be so infuriating.

Mixed Feelings

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Kids' Book on Plastic Surgery

On the one hand, I think it's good that, if the need exists, someone wrote a book to address the worries and fears of young children whose mothers go under the knife for cosmetic surgery.

Was mommy not beautiful before?

On the other hand though, surgery always carries a risk, even if its small, and I find it alarming that mothers with young children would put themselves at risk for something like a tummy tuck or breast implants. And, how do you explain to kids why you need implants? The book apparently skirts the issue, focusing on nose and abdominal work. Plus, like they say, what exactly are you telling your kids if you feel that your nose isn't perfect? What if someone has said to them, "Oh, you have your mother's nose!" These kids might develop a complex about it.

It seems like this book could be reassuring for some children but might cause others to doubt their "worth" based on their appearance. I don't know.

Vegans, strippers, and feminism

There are a lot of vegans in Portland, OR. Some of them are strippers. Some of them are strip club patrons. Fortunately, someone finely attuned to their needs created an all-vegan strip joint.

Just what we needed...

On stage, you won't catch these ladies wrapped in fur. Or feather boas. Or leather shoes, wool scarves (I don't know what role wool has in striptease, but it's forbidden too), or silk not-much-of-anything. Everything on stage was made without cruelty to animals. You can't get a steak, but you can get a soy taco platter. You might be able to get a Caesar salad, but there won't be egg or anchovies in the dressing.

I'm not going to rehash everything in the article here, since I kind of agree with everyone a little bit in the article. Feminists can be a little too uptight about strippers, while vegans can be a little too willing to show off naked women for publicity. I do think that some of the criticisms of PETA are a little unfair; the very first model for the "Ink, not Mink" campaign was actually Dennis Rodman, who I'm pretty sure is not a woman.

But, I just want to add... I do have a problem with blind following of the vegan ideal, without thought to the consequences. PETA is an animal-rights organization, so that's their thing, and that's fine, but they unilaterally oppose all hunting, all leather, and all use of animal products.

What if hunting is necessary, as it is in NJ? We have too many deer here and although I personally don't find hunting to be the right decision for me, I support people who hunt and eat the white-tailed deer that are threatening our forest ecosystems. I don't like the idea of sport hunting, but it saddens me that PETA paints all hunters with the same blood-red brush.

What about pleather? Is pleather actually better? I used to think so. Then I started thinking about where that pleather comes from. Answer: Probably petroleum. Most plastics do. And where are those pleather pants/shoes/I don't want to know going to end up when you're done with them? Probably a dump, where they will sit. And wait. And wait. Plastics take a long time to break down. Leather obviously doesn't decay quickly, especially since we treat it with additional chemicals, but my instinct tells me that it will break down before the pleather does.

You won't catch me in a mink coat any time soon, but I do have a leather couch. Maybe that means I'm not a feminist? Or that I am? I don't know.