A composter full of worms, of course.
If you as fascinated by compost as I am, you might want to check out this article about choosing a composter (granted, it's written by a store, but it seemed helpful) before you decide. For apartments like mine, they recommend something like the Worm Chalet. (Makes you think of little worms in ski boots, sitting around the fireplace, sipping après-ski cocktails, right?)
Also, here's an article about composting in the city. Not as sexy as Sex and the City, but ultimately way more useful.
The only downside is that they do their magic best when kept warm... so they would have to come inside for the winter. Dustin feels that worms are outdoor pets, so until we have a spare utility closet we might have to wait. Oh well, a girl can dream of worm farming, can't she?